I’m just going to throw this out there to my Mormon friends and family. I love you all.
As you all know, I was born and raised in a Mormon family, I’m married to a Mormon, my kids attend Mormon Primary, and I’m an atheist.
And even though I don’t believe in a literal reading of the scriptures and I reject religious mystical claims, I still see value in religious narratives and understand the importance of a strong moral framework. I believe in the importance of family, community service, the golden rule, and trying to do better when you mess up. I will continue to believe in these things regardless of whether or not there is a celestial scorekeeper keeping track of all these things.
I’ve also come to grips with the idea that I will never fully escape Mormonism. Not only is Mormonism deeply ingrained in my cultural DNA, almost everyone important in my life is Mormon. If I’m not able to come to positive terms with Mormonism, my life will be long, miserable and extremely frustrating.
With that attitude, I decided I would watch General Conference and try to glean all the positivity I could out of the talks. And for the most part, it was a good experience. I really enjoyed Elder Uchtdorf’s talk on forgiveness, and I also really liked Elder Cristofferson’stalk on doctrine and the church.
But I felt really uncomfortable during several talks that seemed to make a point of targeting atheists and secularists. I cringed when Russell M. Nelson made a false analogy between the big bang and a printing press explosion. I didn’t enjoy it when M. Russell Ballard attributed most of society’s ills to the rise of secularism.
And most of all, I didn’t like Quentin L. Cook’s remarks about “tone deaf atheists.” He described people like me as:
- Proud, vain and foolish
- Lost in worldly mists of darkness and sin
- Ashamed of those who mock them
These are pretty demeaning terms to describe someone who isn't sure they know exactly how the universe works. See, I'm already proving Elder Cook right with my proud, vain, foolish and snarky commentary. Sorry. But the implication that I'm lost, foolish, and unworthy doesn't seem appropriate given my circumstances. I'm trying my best to be a good father, husband, neighbor and co-worker. I do try to repent when I don't do my best. I want the world to be filled with compassion, love and respect, and I do my best to act accordingly. Is that enough, or is belief in God necessary to validate these actions? This is not a snarky question, I'm genuinely interested in a response.
As I pondered Elder Cook’s talk, I couldn’t help but hearken back to 1 Corinthians Chapter 12, which discuss the gifts of the spirit. The chapter makes it abundantly clear that not everyone gets the same gift, and that all are needed in the church of Christ. “For to one is given by the spirit the word of wisdom; another word of knowledge by the same spirit.”
Could it be possible that me and my atheist cohorts haven’t been blessed by the same spirit of understanding as the rest of you? That despite our skepticism there’s still a place for our viewpoint in the body of Christ?
I’m not sure Mormon leaders see it that way. Almost all the talks on the topic of atheism and secularism included a line to the effect of “the doors are always open when you repent and/or come to your senses,” implying that you’re either in or you’re out.
What do you think Mormon friends and family? Is there a place for me in your average Sunday School or Elder's Quorum class? If you think I’m vain or foolish, I appreciate your constructive feedback (even if you want to leave it anonymously). If you are holding out hope that I’ll eventually return, also please be honest. And if you honestly think there’s a place for me in the church (or not), I’d also like to hear about it. Thanks for your time.
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